a complete outsider

Saturday we ventured to the outskirts of town. Its an area of about 3 square miles of stalls/shops that sell the goods from factories throughout China. Families move to this area to run the shops and sell the goods. Down the alleys, you can see the children playing, food being prepared, young girls getting their hair washed by a parent.

I was probably the only "lauwei" within a 4 mile radius. Lauwei is literally translated to "old outsider" and is somewhat of a derogatory term. Any guide book will tell you that it means "foreigner" - thats being nice about it. I heard this term over and over again...I usually looked back and waived, to either stunned faces or laughing. To some, I may have been the first actual white person, to others, a very rare occasion.

Taking pictures was a new experience for me. Usually, for example, in NYC China Town...they throw their hand in front of me letting me know they don't want me to take their picture. Here, I don't know if they were too much in shock or didn't know what these pictures are sometimes used for.

One child raised his toy gun at me, right at my face, I in return aimed my camera at him - he withdrew, I fired.

Another group of children were playing with a large pair of binoculars. One little boy watched me through them until I was about 4 feet away - aimed at my large eyes only making sure attention to hopefully match his through the glass lenses.

At one point, we are walking through the stalls and I see ahead of me a girl of nearly 5 or 6 pat her Father on the back. He turned, she pointed, I smiled. I walked up to her and her sister and pointed at my camera and smiled, gesturing to take their picture. I threw a quick glance to her father to catch his impression and he was all smiles. She knelt down next to her sister, gave me a gentle Peace sign with her right hand and the other child just looked at me in slight confusion. I snapped one picture, stepped up to show them and thanked them, "xiexie". They both stared at me, one with a large smile...it was one of my most exhilarating experiences as a photographer. I have grown up, this experience is the most wonderful of my entire life.

What I saw for those few hours, I don't know if I could ever describe in words. The images stuck in my head bring such an emotion to surface. Families, more than likely, moved from the Rural lands of China, to work in a tiny stall to sell items from factories. Is it a better way of life? Are they happy? What Jason and I were amazed by was the commotion, the amount of people, bikes/cars/trucks/walking - and there were no car wrecks. Especially since about 80 percent of the drivers weren't even paying attention to the road and staring at my face. Honestly, I am still working out emotionally and mentally these feelings. Never, as a white girl, have received so many stares, so much finger pointing, so much loud discussion of my presence. To a point it made me feel special, but on the other side of things, a distant outsider that would never be allowed to know the truth that exists within the culture.

Returning to the city after that adventure, the stares are minimal in comparison, if anything.
I am lucky on my travels to be staying with Jason's brother, who knows Shanghai, and takes us to strange places like this. A typical traveler to Shanghai would never have seen what I did - on my second day here no less. It has not even been a week and my mind has been blown. My look on life, happiness, struggles, work, etc has all been blown up and I do not plan on making any repairs until I get back to the States. KOKO, Keep On Keepin On.

The center of the city is not really that much different from a place such as Manhattan or even Brooklyn. I get a few stares, I get a few chuckles with my awful Mandarin - its emotions I have never experienced before. I peer into homes, which in any other American city would be considered run down store fronts. The way of life, the simplicity, the acceptance of this is the way it is. I feel like a fat, spoiled, lazy Meiguoren here, though I know have my own visual proof that America is the richest country in the world.

It is 8 am in NYC right now...it is 8 pm right now, here at this table, in the center of Shanghai, while Jason sleeps on the couch.

Pictures will be posted later, as I am not sure how to handle them - because there are places/people that would love some of the images I captured. I must find a way to fund another trip here, or at least pay off the dept that this is going to incur. Much love America!